Im here on a mission to tell you exactly what can go wrong if youre not careful. you see, its like this: youre running down the staircase at random. you take one step, you take two steps, yo
E seven steps, 10 steps, two steps, 15 steps, 19 steps...youre lying in a heap at the bottom of the staircase--blood, bones, powder, that sort of thing--and youre wondering, how did I get here
Then you look up and you see...its a man in a cowl, its a man in a cowl, he opens his face to you--its jimmy tarbuck*. he is saying, kiss the ring! kiss the ring!, and he says, &
Yes, there is a santa claus, and anybody who blasphemes against santa or any of his helpers shall die. what do you do? what do you do?

You whimper thanks to the heavenly sky
Its grey is getting lighter
No peace of mind or sleep for you
You havent earned it yet
And you wont by dusk, I bet
Until you learn what futures youve destroyed
We musnt see you sulk or get annoyed...no

On the day I lost everything they couldnt help enough
They shot my veins full of gelatine
I said, thank you very much, youre too kind!

While they lived in luxury
I made do with money, sweet money
And now Im going to measure the rain
And you can sit and watch me--look! look!
Dont even think about not answering your phone
It might be me and I know youre always home

On the day I lost everything they couldnt help enough
They stopped my clock and they folded my wings
I said, thank you very much for everything!
It means, Im gonna destroy you with my slings and my bullets!

On the day I lost everything the sky was purest white
And the clocks had stopped so I started to sing
The magpie sleeps tonight

On the day I lost everything

* a veteran liverpool comedian, talk show and game show host, and a golfing enthusiast as well.